This Twitter Thread Explains Why The #NotAllMen Trending Is A Major Problem Following The Death Of Sarah Everard
Over the last 24 hours, the whole country has been pretty much captivated in the worst possible way by the story surrounding the murder of Sarah Everard. As we all know, she was abducted on her way home in a well lit area on a main road over the weekend and subsequently murdered. RIP.
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Everard’s murder provoked a furious reaction amongst many women who chose to share their experiences on various forms of social media, detailing how pretty much every woman ever has been subject to some form of sexual assault at at least one point in their life, with many facing multiple incidents over multiple years from multiple different men, both strangers and former friends/colleagues. They were quite rightly questioning why this was such a problem in the year 2021 and they were forced to take measures such as walking home at night with their keys clenched between their knuckles to make sure that nothing happened to them.
However, as is so often the case with these things it provoked the worst reaction in those it was seeking to educate as the #NotAllMen began trending on Twitter with many men explaining that they weren’t themselves hand’t engaged in problematic behaviour, so that it was wrong for women to be tarring all men with this brush. So many people were involved with this take on events that it was doing more numbers than the original tweets that inspired it.
I don’t presume to speak for these women, but I thought that this Twitter thread eloquently described why this was a major problem and how men such as myself can never truly understand what it’s like to be a woman and to be terrified of sexual assault almost 24/7 and why it’s important that me do something to modify their behaviour. I think it’s important that more people read comments/threads such as these and take them on board rather than doing everything they can to try and silence them under a rhetoric of ‘this doesn’t apply to me’ so here it is:
But when a woman is catcalled, followed, touched on public transport, mugged, flashed at, yelled at for refusing a date, threatened, attacked, raped, god forbid murdered… It. Is. Usually. Always. A. Man. What is so hard to understand? 2/15
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
So that is why women feel so desperately sad and weary about, and perhaps triggered by, what happened to Sarah Everard. That is why we’re taught to walk home with our keys in our fingers like a weapon, to walk with only one headphone in, or turn our music off completely. 4/15
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
It’s why we feel the need sometimes to tell cab drivers our boyfriend is waiting just inside the house. Or to drop us a few doors away so they won’t know exactly where we live. It’s why mums and dads wait up to collect their daughters outside tube stations and nightclubs. 6/15
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
…is somehow our responsibility, and we do our best to do our part. But god it’s exhausting sometimes. We grew up seeing society imply that women who were wearing a short skirt or had had a drink were ‘asking for it’ if they were attacked. Times have changed and there… 8/15
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
to accommodate men. We are strong, vocal, independent, smart women, we can be the head of the police force, head of the fire service, teachers, doctors, lawyers, athletes, racing drivers, strippers, clergy, it doesn’t matter, when we get male attention that we did not… 10/15
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
I’m lucky the men in my life do not need any of this stuff explained to them. But the fact any man might need some of this stuff explained remains fairly astounding to women, still. We know it’s not all men. It’s not even most men. However, this next point is indisputable: 12/15
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
In the end, Sarah Everard did all the right things to keep herself safe. She was walking a main road (for those that don’t know Clapham Common, the road thru the middle is wide, busy with cars even at 9pm and fully lit), in trainers, and called her partner while walking. 14/15
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
And still she wasn’t safe. So if her devastating, needless death sparks women to have a conversation and share how they might be able to feel more safe in future, wouldn’t it be an idea to listen? (Lots of secure men already doing that on here, kudos to them.) 15/15 #RIPSarah 💙
— KATE TAYLOR™ (@kate_taylor) March 11, 2021
That’s it. Don’t really want or need to add anything else there as it should all be clear after reading that.Not even gonna put a link at the end of this one. Go back and read it again.
