The best way to clear your conscience before the weekend is to admit what you did via our anonymous Sick Chirpse confessions box (also located under this post) – every week we’ll be posting the juicy ones.

Here are the best from this week:

Smellybum

Ten minutes into a 3 hour train journey and I’ve absolutely wrecked the freshly cleaned toilet, beer and curry poop. Sorry fellow passengers!

Cantstumpthetrump

I feel it’s ridiculous that you can’t openly disagree with people for fear of offending people and getting branded a bigot and a racist. Fuck the liberal left.

Laid_back

I keep pissing in plastic bottles… I have an en suite.

Bumfun

As a leaving present from work my colleagues gave me a butt plug. It’s been a month and I’ve just tried it for the first time, thought I would be able to take it like a champ. I have never been more unimpressed with myself.

SANDYDICK

I have a real problem replying to people on social media or over texts, it’s gotten so bad that I haven’t had sex in two months because I keep ghosting girls and not replying back for days at a time. Fuck my actual life.

Im23

I drink a glass of milk before I go bed every night.

Nvrfltbtter

Had sex with a guy I’ve been secretly having a crush on. He came into my ass and had the weirdest feeling ever. Wish we could do it again.

BARRENKAREN

I’ve had unprotected sex a scary amount of times with a plethora of people and I’ve neither gotten an STI or gotten pregnant. I’m either luckiest gal alive or completely infertile. Not that arsed either way

Shaggy

Everyone thinks im quite sweet and innocent but I’ve shagged over a 100 men most of them without protection and it still surprises me that I haven’t caught an sti, I’m pretty sure I have a sex addiction I think about fucking most men I meet and masturbate over five times a day. Do I need help?

Obeseelise

I would love to be slim but I love eating pizza more.

Hardtimes

My first time having sex was with a guy I didn’t even know and it was anal. Does that make me a slut or a legend?

Angryallthetime

I genuinely think I’m a psychopath.

CheersAfi

My biggest achievement of 2016 was getting a confession published on Sick Chirpse. Yes, “published”… I’m a fucking author. Anyway, make it 2, guys and it’ll be a landmark year for me.

buckiebrummy

Tried the plumbers joint, rolled perfect,  and was THE shitest joint I ever smoked more Ash than smoke. Thanks Sick Chirpse.

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Well done guys and gals – you’ve done us proud. Well, maybe not proud. But thanks for submitting and if your confession didn’t feature, don’t sweat it – just submit a better one next time.

Get involved and submit your confession(s) directly below this post – see you next week.