Two Men ‘Planned To Invade Island, Raise An Army, Kill All Men And Take Sex Slaves’

Insane story out of North Texas this week as two men were busted for allegedly plotting to invade the Haitian island of Gonâve, murder all the men, and turn all the women and children into their sex slaves.

Gavin Rivers Weisenburg, 21, and Tanner Christopher Thomas, 20, were planning to accomplish this by recruiting an army of homeless people off the streets, who I guess they figured would have nothing better to do than to help them invade an island and take it over.

Weisenburg and Thomas really put the work in, too; leaning Haitian Creole and enrolling in various courses to learn the skills they thought they would need. Thomas even enlisted in the US Air Force specifically to gain military skills for the invasion, and Weisenburg traveled to Thailand with the intention of enrolling in a sailing school.

Investigators also uncovered their plans to purchase guns, a sailboat and recruit homeless people to use as mercenaries. These boys were really rolling like 1500s Americans trying to conquer islands and take slaves… in 2025! Their ancestors would have been proud, I guess?

Would they have been successful if they hadn’t have got caught? Probably not. The island of Gonâve is 126 square km and has almost 80k residents so I’m not sure how a sailboat packed with armed homeless recruits would allow you to “kill all men” and turn tens of thousands of women and children into sex slaves. Then again, the type of people who come up with these Scooby Doo type plans aren’t exactly all there in the head, are they?

I’m also not sure why they decided to learn the language of the people they were planning to kill and enslave? Maybe they thought they would need to ask for directions or something.

In the end, having their plot uncovered by the FBI probably saved their lives, because I’m pretty sure the people of Gonâve were not just going to sit back and let these dweebs conquer their island and take the women and children as slaves. It somehow feels like both the most and least thought out plan to take over an island ever, and would have been quite the story if they’d managed to at least make an attempt.

Weisenburg, 21, and Thomas, 20, face charges of conspiracy to murder, maim, or kidnap in a foreign country, which carries a potential sentence of up to life in prison. They are also charged with production of child pornography, which somehow isn’t at all surprising, is it?

Let’s hope justice is served.

For the Russian man who was fined £400 for having a dream about President Zelenskyy, click HERE.